Problems dating divorced men
Forcing You to Go Incognito It makes sense that a man who is newly divorced may be hesitant to bring a new love interest around his children if he is a divorced dad.
As his children are coping with the loss of their family unit as they know it, introducing a new woman into his family too soon may really worry and confuse them, further adding to their sense of instability. (It can happen in a divorce, especially when a couple shares mutual friends.) But if you want a normal relationship; if you want your relationship to grow and evolve, but your partner insists on “sneaking around” or hiding you from his friends and family, then that’s not normal.
And if his ex really did a number on this guy, it would make sense that he would have some bad feelings towards her.
But if he is routinely expressing those bad feelings about her within earshot of you, his preoccupation with his divorce or separation may mean that he has some unresolved feelings.
If your guy appears to be in that boat, you have to ask yourself if you really want to date a man who is constantly looking for all the ways you can prove his theory correct.Also, if he is badmouthing his ex in front of his kids (whether she’s their mother or not); this is a guy who isn’t emotionally mature enough to put his children’s best interests ahead of his own bruised ego.This means he probably won’t be able to make a relationship with you a priority either.Does he make quips about women and their intelligence or emotional “volatility”? Whatever his attitudes are, the important thing to note is, “do his attitudes match up with perspective?” Refusing to Take Responsibility Divorce isn’t something that just happens overnight.Being previously married and divorced does not necessarily demonstrate a track record of commitment and responsibility.It simply means they’ve been married and divorced, which could mean all sorts of things!Perhaps he’s not yet ready to share his heart with another person.His attention, even if it’s negative attention, is still preoccupied with his ex and their relationship.Maybe he always wanted to work late or on the weekends. Her betraying him probably really hurt her husband, and certainly didn’t help her marriage.Maybe by the time he came home from work he was tired and wasn’t interested in sex. But is he blameless for the breakdown of their relationship? Relationships don’t happen “to you”; relationships are co-creative.