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Popular culture has always been full of unfaithful wives, but even today's fictional cheaters share something that sets them apart from the tragic Anna Karenina or the calculating Mrs. Their actions may cause their lives to unravel, but the new philanderers aren't victims.When, on the HBO series "The Sopranos," Carmela finally took a lover after putting up with her mob-boss husband's extracurricular antics for years, audiences cheered.Beautiful and well dressed, Connie Sumner has what looks like a perfect life, and she fools around not because she's miserable but simply because she can (a decision that soon makes her life a lot less perfect)."Women always say 'thank you' for that role, and at first I wasn't sure how to take that," says Lane, who adds that the character was capable of far more denial than she could ever be. Then I realized it was because she wasn't a victim. It's not something you often see."Where do married women find their boyfriends? Nearly 60 percent of American women work outside the home, up from about 40 percent in 1964.Quite simply, women intersect with more people during the day than they used to.When groups of women get together, especially if they're mothers and have been married for more than six or seven years, and especially if there's alcohol involved, the conversation is usually the same.They talk about the kids and work--how stressed they are, how busy and bone tired.Her lover gave her everything her husband didn't: compliments, Tiffany jewelry, flowers and love notes. Veronica's lover sent a bouquet to her home one afternoon, her husband answered the door and, in one made-for-Hollywood moment, the marriage was over. Wives who want extramarital sex--or are just dreaming about it--can find what they seek on Yahoo! Much has changed since Emma Bovary chose suicide with arsenic over living her life branded an adulteress--humiliated, impoverished and stripped of her romantic ideals. Newer laws have been designed to protect these women.Now remarried (to a new man), Veronica says she and her friends half-jokingly talk about starting a Web site for married women who want to date. The reality is this: American women today have more opportunity to fool around than ever; when they do fool around, they're more likely to tell their friends about it, and those friends are more likely to lend them a sympathetic ear.
Kramer, clinical professor of psychiatry at Brown University and author of "Should You Leave?
Nevertheless, in America, as in other parts of the world, a double standard continues to thrive: boys will be boys, but girls are supposed to be good.
Even though women are narrowing the gap, men still do the bulk of the domestic damage.
(Men, not surprisingly, amplify their sexual experience, while women diminish it.) Couples therapists estimate that among their clientele, the number is close to 30 to 40 percent, compared with 50 percent of men, and the gap is almost certainly closing.
In 1991, the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago asked married women if they'd ever had sex outside their marriage, and 10 percent said yes.